To Be a Fan Or Not To Be

Looking at a fan definition from the perspective of the one who has acquired said adoring fan, I would conjecture from personal experience, as I was the fan, that I have been, as said fan, made into his “what if” lover, possible life partner, to say, “the one and only.” And yet, there was another thing that could be truer so, he might have had so many groupies, that I fit that category also, but I think it was his wishful thinking on this part really.

This is the human condition to think in all the world there is only ONE mate possible, and we do this search and find thing endlessly, in our world, proclaiming divorce as the worst scenario for a couple, somehow something quite unfortunate to have failed in love relationship. Firstly, divorce is not a sign of failure, but a step in a new direction towards a more successful love relationship. Whatever that is!

It is important, I would instruct aliens or newly first time incarnated beings into our planet, to approach an earth life not from a less than or more than, approach but from a forbearing of equanimity centering. Oneness is more than just a word to banter around in the new age. While oneness is lovely to look at, individuality is equally a daring prospect that has it’s own time in the limelight. In other words perhaps more acceptable to some here, let us approach equanimity of soul by saying let us get our shit together, for there is no time to waste, but there is plenty of time to appreciate your moments lived fully, in being yourself with no apology. Of course, apology may be necessary at times, but this promotes oneness, and leads to unconditional love.

I have heard only recently some of us don’t have a soul…yet. What a crazy world it is then! How nice it is that we can come here and acquire a soul if we don’t have one yet. A soul, from one perspective is simply being conscious you may have made some mistakes along the way. For instance, maybe you shouldn’t have killed someone, even though it seemed like such a good idea at the moment. A conscious is a good thing to have on the way to equanimity. First, do no harm. The rest is easy to figure out if you don’t get caught up in the Oneness thing to the exclusion of the “be yourself” an individual thing.

It’s highly flattering to be thought of as “the one and only” and our popular music is full of fantasy like this to daydream by. Reality is that even though two people can have intertwining destinies, or things to learn from one another, there is no such thing as a perfectly working relationship, a perfect husband, a perfect wife. That is not what incarnation on earth is all about, however, such fantasy makes great music! We can always hope that the final life will provide the things undreamt of in our philosophy. If you cannot dream it up, it shall not be so; there is something absolute about lack of consciousness operating. Perhaps, after all, linear time is a blessing in disguise, so that as we gather our experiences we discover there is no lack within time that continues forever, of course, in another form, and one fluid and changing form.

Back to fan definitions, in all fairness to the star I was enamored with, I had my own fantasies of course or I wouldn’t have found myself in the imposition of his fantasy, if I’d not given myself to fantasy also. Such fantasy was pleasant of course and passes for the well-known honeymoon phase of marriages. It was pleasant enough to be wondering daily whether the beloved had given a thought to myself and to be obliged, that yes, he was thinking of me also. However when the Internet delivered up the fantasy I was to become a trophy wife, all bets were immediately off, although I could not immediately decipher and explain the chill that ran through my bones to be someone’s trophy winnings, I could say my self image was far, far from such a configuration. I didn’t fit in other words.

I looked at the words “Trophy Wife” and ran off to ask a trusted friend what the hell is this? To the beloved I had no answer but silence. It was clear only that he held this idea as more than a supposition, but acted as if he already owned this object called a trophy wife, so overly confidant was he that he was extending the finest compliment in my direction, while I had issues around both words, trophy, and wife.

A fan is an admiration element working in the fan’s consciousness. It’s not unconditional love they are feeling for the star they look at; it’s based on admiration of the other’s works. Fan emotions are sectioned off, isolated from true intimacy which is found in the ideal union of two. Transparency is necessary within a successful union. Transparency, like honesty promotes trust. A fan gives their trust to a star, but unconditional love is something we work towards on this planet both personally and globally speaking. We’re simply not there yet, globally or personally, but making progress I am assured, speaking of unconditional love and loving. Speaking of honest communication, there was none of that. There was some reaching by both parties and an equal number of slamming doors. Such is life. Life is what happens while you’re waiting for it to happen.

To sum up in cursory manner don’t fall in love with a user name. We do up our lives on the Internet now, and unless you get their real name, written down and delivered to you personally, you do not know who you are relating to, no matter how much “truth” and confirmation falls from the email. There’s no substitute for old fashioned eye contact, face to face.

Anything is possible within fantasy, what we will call astral, emotional planes. We are conscious of fantasy to some degree but not 100% so that we question the reality of our fantasy when and if some or all of the 5 senses operate while out of body, in dreaming, or even day dreaming. I haven’t even gotten to the 6th sense yet, to be able to talk about that with any coherence. Let’s just say the intuitive sense, along with mental telepathy, along with the formerly dormant, atrophied 3rd eye of man is now becoming an active factor in our world if we should but focus on signs of this to be so.

This is good and right, as the whole point of this action, this objective world, is to question reality. To question is the correct mode of procedure to get to reality, or truth of the matter. Both waking and sleeping consciousness are instrumental to cause us to question reality, and our own belief systems and as well to distinguish reality from a fantasy. Therefore, it would be incorrect to shrug off the dream landscape or the out of body experience and say, it’s only a dream, for it has it’s true elements inherent within it, to infer the truth. It allows the truth to get a foothold in waking consciousness so that the soul can progress to higher levels of being by casting thoughtfulness over what has just occurred, why it has happened thus and so, what felt good about it, what sucked majorly. If equanimity is attained after the thoughtfulness, then progress has occurred.

It has only been recently I realized I was a fan of a public figure, and only that, a mere fan, no matter that the fascination extended for a good many years. Now I cannot call myself a fan at all, unless I should say an awakened fan, I can speak on the matter now with more intelligence and less fanciful conjectures and I can thank my own self for producing so much lucidity around my fancies through the dream state. I do not thank my star, as I’m not really sure he was a willing participant in my dreams! I do spend time thanking the universe for allowing me the means on how to develop a sense of humor which helps me find equanimity, basically shock proofing even those of us not born with armor on the heart and/or a tendency to not be down to earth, which I see I'm not lonely in their company.

I was simply entertaining myself, because the entertainment was provided to me easily enough by the mere fact that those on the stage of life are handing themselves over to the public as that’s their chosen profession, for better or worse. Entertaining myself would soon enough lead to hard, self scrutiny, which was my true destiny, and not the destiny of becoming someone’s trophy wife. Now, after all is said and done I find myself as a fan of my closest friends for there seems to be degrees of unconditional love and that we love by degree, by measure perhaps of what we give out, although in our world random acts of kindness can seem like a miracle, I shall forever view my meeting with a star as an act of kindness on his part, if a somewhat clumsy act of kindness, which in the end, helped me to equanimity of soul. For that is my choice, even if our choices were not the same; I can live with that outlook much better than my former perspective of continually feeling as if I were being stalked by a super star. BTW, we were very close in temperament which says nothing really, but in this regard, a stalker believes a relationship exists where none does...precisely what I myself believed that a relationship existed where none did! None existed in the sense there was not unconditional love passing between us. Only unconditional love is real. If the relationship does not feel good to be in interaction...GET OUT! It's not real. You deserve real. Never forget it.

We are getting there, all of us. Peace.

We can not change the world. However, we can change ourselves. That is good news, for by changing ourselves, as a part of the world, one by one, we make a better world by sheer number of people changing their own selves to see it differently.